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03-25-2015 2:40 AM -- By: sherry, From: home
kim, sweetheart... so hard to accept that it's been four years. kim, your tree-self has grown tall! the wind was blowing so hard at the top of the hill yesterday, it looked as though your/its arms were waving an exuberant "hullo!" to the new spring sky, waving -- and dancing. you're everywhere now, hello hello, kim in the tree, in EVERY tree, in the sky, the clouds and the sun shining, hello kim, in everything beautiful and growing, always changing. i'm trying to learn to go with the changes, kim, like water. i love you iloveyou i love you, sweetheart, that alone never will change.
06-16-2013 10:18 AM -- By: Gail Ross, From: Charlotte, NC
Thinking about Kim on Fathers' Day and remembering how important being a father and grandfather was to him. He did a great job with both, along with being a loving uncle.
09-30-2012 5:15 PM -- By: Gail Ross, From: Charlotte, NC
We thought about Kim yesterday on his birthday and still miss him daily.
Kim's sister, Gail
06-20-2012 11:20 PM -- By: Philip Bennett, From: Brooklyn, NY
Kim was a true warrior fighting for the most oppressed of the oppressed. And he kept charging into battle even as his mortal wound slowly overwelmed him. We should all be like him in this world and beyond.
04-18-2011 2:37 PM -- By: Jeremy Madson, From: Mineola, NY/Arlington, VA
Kim was not a blood relation to me but I was lucky enough to call him my uncle. He was a great friend to my family in times both good and bad. Among many other memories, I'll never forget spending my 11th birthday camping and hiking in the woods near his house that he loved so much. He will be greatly missed.
04-09-2011 1:15 AM -- By: Marilyn Verde, From: MHLS
I am so sorry to hear the news of Kim's passing. He was a sweet and gentle man. I am also fighting the battle of pancreatic cancer and hope to be as brave as he was. God bless.
04-06-2011 9:43 PM -- By: Ed Novitsky, From: Long Island
April 4, 2011
In the Loss
of Someone You Loved
May it comfort you
to know how much
your loved one meant.
To - The Family of Kim Darrow,
It was with deep regret that I read of Kim's passing in the newspaper. My deepest sympathy goes out to all of his family members.
Kim was not only my lawyer but he became a sincere friend as well. He won my legal case restoring my freedom, my house and my civil rights back to me. They had unfairly been taken away from me plus I was in no position to defend myself at the time. I will be eternally grateful to Kim for all that he did for me. I feel that I owe him a debt which I know I could never repay!
Kim was an excellent and thorough lawyer in all respects. He really cared about helping people in need and doing the right thing and was what a lawyer should be and a great credit to his profession. He was a wonderful compassionate human being and will be missed by all who knew him. If the world was full of people such as Kim Darrow it would certainly be a wonderful place for all of us to live in!
May you Rest In Eternal Peace, Kim!
04-06-2011 10:19 AM -- By: John Powell, From: Raleigh, NC
"Gail, where are your champagne glasses?"
Love you Kim. You will be missed.
04-04-2011 10:22 PM -- By: Timothy Koconas, From:
KIm was a great guy and helped so many who others left behind -------going to miss him very much -------
04-01-2011 5:07 PM -- By: Eric Burke and Karen Johnson, From: Ridge, N.Y.
Our dogs Heidi and Elsa introduced us to Kim, our neighbor, over twenty years ago by running down the street into his yard. Dogs just know.
If it hadn’t been for that encounter we may have never come to know this most open-hearted, comfortable person with an easy laugh and a love of people, nature and all of life. He was a sensitive soul who possessed great awareness and humility.
Friendship came quickly with Kim and our doors were always open to each other, like family, as we shared our daily lives for years and years to come. He will be missed more than we can ever say. We loved him dearly.
04-01-2011 11:32 AM -- By: Ed Ross, From: Charlotte, NC
04-01-2011 2:55 AM -- By: Leeling Ho, From:
In a spring day of 1990 I met Kim and his former long time gril friend at Blydenberg Greenbelt office. They just bought a house in Ridge. As the Chinese saying, "Relatives live far away are not as good as neighbors who liveclose by". We have been friends and neighbors since.
Kim is a very kind, patient, sincere, caring, honest and loyal friend. He loved nature. He enjoyed life and always kept the gathering joyful and relaxed. I enjoyed hiking with him and often he was the lead. His desire to share his knowledge of plants, birds and fungus were so genuine and sincere. If there were some plants or birds he didn't know, he carried field guides to help identified them. I always wondered how many books he brought in the napsak. He walked in moderate speed, so everyone would be able to appreciate the time and enjoy nature in PineBarrens.
In the 90's, Kim, Ray, Mindy, George and a few other Greenbelt members would hike every Wednesday after work. We painted the trail markers and picked up the garbage in the Rocky Point, Ridge, and Riverhead areas. For many summers, Kim lead the wild blueberries festival hike. One year, I was late and came with a box of store-bought blueberries and beer to their home in Ridge. I helped with the food preparation but then the crew came back with bags of wild blueberries. There was always plenty of homemade gourmet food and a variety of beer, wine and soda in a big bucket with ice. It started around 9am and lasted into the evening when the last person left their home. We made the blueberry ice cream in the old fashion way. Of course, blueberry shortcake, blueberry jam, and blueberry muffins. It was a wonderful day and I still remember the happy time and Kim's words and laughs. After one visit at North Shore hospital in this March, I promised to have a blueberry day in my house this summer if Kim would make it.
Kim and I went to the annual wine tastings at the University of Stony Brook. The highlight of the event was a wine auction. Kim frequently bought vintage bottles and shared the tasting with friends. Kim makes an ordinary gathering became very special. He wanted friends to enjoy life and have a good time even when he was very ill. Even in his most uncomfortable days, his sense of humor still made people around him laugh. One time I went to see him and Denis was there. He said, "let's go to the diner to grab a bite".
I always loved Kim as my adopted American brother and family. He has been there whenever I needed a friend to talk. I moved to Nassau county in 1997 and was not able to participate in the greenbelt hikes, but we met for dinner after work in the City occasionally. Later on, he worked in Mineola office and I work at Great Neck area, we did lunch from time to time.
In 2008, I met Sherry for the first time and attended their wedding in 2009. I was happy for him and Sherry because they seemed happy together.
On March 24, I stopped by after work and let him know I would be going home to see my family. He said "Good bye, Leeling". I said, "See you Kim, take care". That was the last time that I spoke to him. It was difficult to imagine this world without Kim. But I also know he will be always around and encourage me to live every day to its fullest.
03-31-2011 10:27 PM -- By: Michael Sabourin, From: Vermont
I have always been one to live in denial when people pass away and certainly this will be the case again; as there is no admitting such a feat as Kim's passing; I will always think of him as alive in some manner if not at least in my head.
I have not had the opportunity to spend alot of time with Kim. Though when the opportunities where there he was a welcoming and kind person.
I did get to witness some of his and Sherry's early relationship and admired that he was able to capture the heart of someone he loved.
My deepest sympathy to Sherry and Kim's family,
03-31-2011 5:31 PM -- By: Bobby Torkova, From: New Jersey
I am so saddened to hear of Kim's passing. Besides being a very kind and caring person, he helped me out at a difficult time in my life. Rest in Peace.
03-31-2011 3:27 PM -- By: Shirley Routten-Gellis, From: Hampton, Virginia
So many have written to you here about how gentle Kim was, how fair, tolerant and honest -- "a peaceable man" as you so aptly describe him. I, too, saw these wonderful traits in Kim, but my fondest memory of Kim is seeing him experiencing joy. It was during the trip to North Carolina where you and Kim would be married in just a few days. It was late at night and we had miles to go. Kim was driving. There was a full moon. We were listening to steel drums, the music creating mystery, beauty and magic out of that warm spring night. I remember the two of you so full of expectation and promise and the joy we all felt as we sped through that romantic and glorious Carolina night.
I know you have a great store of beautiful memories. I hope this is among them and that all your sweet memories of Kim will keep him close to you.
03-31-2011 12:50 PM -- By: Stephen Buckser, From: San Ramon, CA
I first met Kim in a Consciousness Raising group that started at his home in 1973. The group met for many years and through it I had the good fortune of having Kim as a friend. He was one person that didn’t really need his consciousness to be raised. He was always sensitive to and cared about people and issues. He loved and cared about the environment. We held most of our meetings on Friday evenings, the next day he would be making trails so walkers could enjoy the Long Island landscape. I only wish he had more time to do the things he enjoyed and cared about.
03-30-2011 9:47 PM -- By: Thomas Rhodes Hawkins and Sylvia Carter Hawkins, From: Raleigh, NC
Among Kim's many virtues, he had a kind, natural way with children. A friend has a wonderful, happy memory of her son being worried about bears while on a walk in the woods, and Kim taught Johnny the words to Teddy Bear's Picnic -- Kim knew all the words -- and they sang it stalwartly and loudly, to let the bears know they were coming. Kim explained that with fair warning, the bears would stay away.
We shall not see his like again.
If you go out in the woods today
You're sure of a big surprise.
If you go out in the woods today
You'd better go in disguise.
For every bear that ever there was
Will gather there for certain, because
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
03-30-2011 8:27 PM -- By: Gail Darrow Ross, From: Charlotte, NC
I've known Kim all my life and most of his. I couldn't have had a better brother. We were as different as night and day, but I don't think we could have been closer. We have been together through births, marriages, and deaths. Ed, Emily, and Rachael loved him as much as I. When I last saw him earlier this month, it was hard for him to speak. As I sat at the foot of his bed, I felt him looking at me, so I smiled and waved. He smiled and waved back, and we both knew what the other meant. Kim, I love you. "Till we meet again."
03-30-2011 1:05 PM -- By: Rebecca Madson, From: NY/St. Louis
Uncle Kim was my godfather. He was a presence at every big event in my life as far back as I can remember - birthday parties, my confirmation, and not long ago, my graduation from college. One thing I remember fondly is all the cards and postcards he sent me over the years. Always handwritten in his beautiful penmanship, little notes from different travels and places he had been and seen that he wanted to share. I'll always remember one of the moments that I first felt like an adult - I went to hug Uncle Kim and realized I was taller than him. When I took up Italian my senior year of college, he promised me a trip to Italy once I completed the course. Well, I ended up dropping the class after a week, and I always regretted not getting to travel with him. He always talked with such passion about traveling and wine and getting to see new and beautiful places. I thought of him often when I finally made it across the pond this past fall to Paris, and sent him a postcard from my travels. I will miss him greatly.
03-30-2011 8:43 AM -- By: Michael Perlin, From: New York Law School
We have all lost a friend, and ally, and a wonderful human being. The world is a sadder place without Kim's presence.
My friend, we will meet again someday/on the avenue...
03-29-2011 5:09 PM -- By: Lesley De Lia , From: MHLS
The last time I saw Kim says it all about Kim the lawyer and Kim the man. Of my 30 years of many memories, it will be my fondest memory of my friendship with Kim.
On January 29, 2011 , just a week or so before Kim entered hospice, he dragged himself to a small gathering at my house of friends from the office who really wanted to see him. He brought with him several of his most cherished bottles of wine. At the end of the evening he and Sherry were the last to leave. All of the bottles had been opened and drained except for one. Kim spotted the last bottle as he was putting on his coat, . looked back at me and sheepishly asked if he could take it home ... adding with a smirk ..." I'd like to see how this one will taste in 10 years".
That moment showcased the optimistic attitude that pervaded everything Kim did. It is everything I learned from him in a snapshot and why I am so grateful to have had the priviledge of his freindship for 30 years.
03-29-2011 2:55 PM -- By: Ben Intonato, From:
I remember being very young and Kim taking me for a hike in his backyard.
He seemed to be smiling at things the rest of us couldn't see. It was extremely special, and connected to nature.
03-29-2011 10:05 AM -- By: Lynn Tinnie, From: MHLS
Kim your kindness and generous heart will be missed by me and my husband. Be one with nature.
03-29-2011 9:55 AM -- By: Sheldon Rosen, From:
Kim - the perenial optomist. His kindness, intelligence, wisdom, passion sincerity and boundless enthusiasm has enriched my life and the life of so many others. He is, and will be, sorely missed.
03-29-2011 9:19 AM -- By: Emmie Gunn, From: Charlotte, NC
Kim, you were a very special man. I knew you from Gail and meet you several times over the years. When I came with my friend Emily to New York you were my savior. My wallet got stolen and when we meet up with you for a day of sight seeing and eating you gave me money to return home on. When I got home the first thing I said about my trip was that you had saved me and helped me settle everything with the police report. Thank you so much. You will be greatly missed.
03-29-2011 4:33 AM -- By: Sidney Hirschfeld, From: MHLS 2nd
Aside from his always needing to borrow a tie or sport jacket from me for a last minute court appearance, what I remember most about Kim was his courage and his dedication to principle. These characteristics not only earned him the admiration and respect of his clients and associates alike but hundreds of loving and devoted friends, of which I am proud to be one.
03-29-2011 3:48 AM -- By: Norman Shapiro, From:
Though I have no recollection of our ever meeting, Sherry, My heart goes out to you in this time of grief and heartbreak. My condolences.
*email address cannot be posted on VM*
03-28-2011 10:23 PM -- By: Gerry Kaplan, From: MHLS
After reading all the wonderful comments about Kim, what more can one say. He was a perfect representative of the Mental Hygeine Legal Sevice. He gave his all when representing a client. A dedicated, bright , advocate, admired by his peers. He will be missed.
03-28-2011 8:34 PM -- By: Laura Ziegler, From: Vermont; before that, NY
Long before meeting Kim I'd heard he was one of the handful of live wire MHLS attorneys who acknowledged the utter injustice of psychiatric justice. I think I first met him in person at a public forum on psychiatry and human/civil rights organized through Peacesmith in 1989. At some undefinable point, we became friends.
My favorite memory of Kim is from a protest hike sometime around 1990. Our group walked the trail behind Kings Park Psychiatric Center overlooking the Long Island Sound, and at a high point Kim lifted his hand and declared the place a state park. Years later, it became Nissequogue River State Park.
I remember his unfailing kindness and decency to his clients, his sensitivity to how relentlessly they were trampled on by the courts and by their keepers. Kim treated them with respect, relating to them as equals, and stayed in touch with some of them many years after they were no longer clients. I remember his tireless efforts on their behalf and how he would toil over legal filings at the office in the middle of the night. I remember his anger at the big injustices and disgust with the petty tyrannies.
I remember him on the ward at the Pilgrim State, at the cramped dingy MHLS office on the grounds and later, the big main office in Mineola. Kim standing in courtrooms: that small travesty of a court on Pilgrim's grounds, the pink-walled Special Part at the Brooklyn Supreme Court, the Appellate Division and the Court of Appeals. His big courtroom voice loudly projecting in those hollow places. Always he showed the same courage and perseverance in the face of official injustice and cruelty and stupidity.
I remember him cross examining Paul Henri Thomas' psychiatrist, saying: "So you've damaged his brain, you've damaged his liver..." A red faced Judge Hall screamed at Kim from the bench, "You should be ashamed!"
I remember him calling the night before the U.S. began bombing Iraq in 2003 to tell me he'd found something in international law that might help stop it, and asking me who to contact.
I remember Kim speaking about going into private practice after he retired, and working on the same issues in New Jersey and Connecticut as well as New York. I remember him saying, deadpan, "I could be the scourge of three states."
I remember Kim in love, like a parched person who'd found a clear spring and would never be thirsty again. I remember him on his wedding day, standing with Sherry before the minister on a sunny deck in Chapel Hill, the two of them gazing into each other's faces and a giant bee hovering nearby. I remember the two of them walking in winter coats, tucked into each other, leaning together in an unthinkingly perfect fit.
I remember Kim's dogged, stoic eating when his illness or the chemo for his illness made eating so crucial and so hard to endure. I remember walking with him around a Baltimore block on a cold November day, Kim pushing past his own pain and weakness to investigate historic architecture tucked among the modern. I remember him struggling to his feet, and with the aid of a walker and the physical therapist, walking as far as the door of his last hospital room.
Kim fought to protect us from violent intrusions on our liberties, our bodies and our minds. The world is a more dangerous place without him. I feel this in a very personal way, since for the past nineteen years Kim was my alternate health care agent -- someone who could literally protect me from psychiatric drugs and electroshock if I couldn't protect myself.
When I still worked for a law clinic and was spending a lot of time at Pilgrim State, I asked Kim how he dealt psychologically with the oppression and trauma saturating that terrible place. He replied that he tended to be intensely focused on whatever he was doing -- so that when he wasn't on the job, his life outside Pilgrim displaced what he encountered there. He wrote to me once about his work with MHLS, that "hope springs eternal."
When I said goodbye to Kim I told him I'd think of him when I was in the woods. I will. But I'll also think of him when it's necessary to speak loudly and clearly in places of corrupt power, or when kindness and infinite patience are needed, and not there. May he spring eternal.
03-28-2011 6:58 PM -- By: Jack Finkenberg, From: Open Space Council
You always had a good story Kim and you loved the music. I always enjoyed your company.
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