You left us so suddenly and so tragically. All of our hearts have
been broken. Nothing has been right since that tragic evening. You
were no angel, honey, but you were a wonderful son. A wonderful
and unselfish person who wouldn't hurt anyone. We know that Amy and
Jeannette's family don't blame you for the accident. I know you are
with your friends.
Hunting season is coming. I know you will miss the season as well as
all the time you spent with Uncle David. He will miss his hunting
partner as well.
Uncle John......well, he's a different story. We all know that you
two had the closest bond in the world. He misses you dearly, as only
Uncle John can. I don't think he has played a game of gin since he
has played with you.
Aunt Dianne has been my saviour. Without her to hold my hand and let
me cry on her shoulder, I think I would have joined you a while ago.
I may still.
Dad.......he handles things in his own way. He works. He doesn't
know how to handle me, or deal with me Adam. If he only knew that I
need to cry and be held, but he just doesn't get it. I don't blame
Dad, he is having a hard time with this himself.
AJ. Well AJ isn't AJ anymore. He's a changed kid Adam. He believes
that if you had let him go with you the night of the accident that he
would have been able to do something to have prevented it. I thank
you for not letting him go with you, because I believe that I would
have lost both of my sons.
Adam, I wish to God that this accident had never happened. You are my
heart and my soul. How many times did I tell you to be careful, that
I didn't know what I would do if something happened to you? Why did
you leave that night? What made you go out? What were you thinking?
I'm glad I woke up and got to speak to you in the kitchen, and to tell
you that I loved you before I went back to bed. I still love you Adam,
but, I am mad as hell at you.
Gram and Grampa, Aunt Betty, Aunt Kathy, Dill.....they all miss you
too. They have all been a great help. But they don't know how to
make it better for me either. No one does.
Adam, I have heard some stories about you since you left. Mom would
have been very angry with you. What about the trip to Canada with
Uncle John??!!!!!!! What about the pack of cigarettes at the border
with your brother??!!!! I would have kicked your butt. And kicked it
again and again. So........as you told Uncle John....I made you lie
to me!!!! VERY funny, honey!!!!
If I could only have you back Adam...........I'd have to kick your
butt!!!! Get over here so I can slap you!!! I love you so much
Adam. How about one last game of backgammon? I'd whip ya'!!
I never thought I would be writing a letter to a dead person, Adam,
especially my son. It isn't right that a mother should outlive her
child. I would give anything if I could trade my life for yours. You
had so much good living ahead of you. You were just coming out of
your shell. Looking so HOT.
Adam, you are my son, and I will never forget you for even a minute.
You are always in my heart and in my thoughts. Even when those
thoughts turn to anger, I still love and miss you very much.
Please Adam, come to me in my dreams and let me know what happened.
I need to know.
All my love.........Mom
P.S. Give a big hug to Gram and Gramp Conger, and to Aunt Gloria.
Tell them we miss and love them. And to Pepere and your cousin
Adam we are going to do wonderful things in your memory. You would
be real pleased. Just wish you were here, because, knowing you, you
would be helping too.
Love Forever, Mom, Dad, and AJ