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Memorial created 05-31-2007
Anthony Frank Calogero
January 1 1957 - May 3 2007

This online memorial was created in loving memory of Anthony Calogero, whose life story is told throughout this memorial website. Please sign Anthony's guest book and let us know you came to visit. We will remember Anthony forever. How can we possibly continue without your presence? I tried so hard to save you and I am so sad I was not successful. My heart and soul has a hole in it and I mourn for you . I tried to weave together the jagged edges of your thread bare heart for you but, it was not to be. I am not composed or even strong now. So many memories and places we hold in our heart that we experienced can never be taken away from us. My entire family and I are better for having known you and what you stood for: Honesty, love and integrity. The black hole of pain was so deep for you and there were no answers for your feelings and exhaustion of your body. I would listen without judgment or comment your fears, doubts and anger. Your soul was so unsettled and it hurt me beyond words to see you suffer. We live in a fragile and imperfect world tinged by brokenness and cloaked in unanswered questions. Some things truly are not fair and this has been the greatest injustice I feel I have ever had to witness. I am so sorry that my words were just not enough for you to hang on to the hope, it would be better some day very, very soon. Somehow, we must all keep our lives afloat in a rising tide of doubt. If only I could have mended your heart, I would draw you a plan to light your path from confusion and despair to new tomorrows and new journeys. I would shape for you a fresh way to seeing a new world that would be bestowed on you. Dearest Tony, to replace your doubts with faith, and grief and sadness with gratitude. Change your fear into trust of a new tomorrow. There would be anticipation of a life worth living for all of us to share.. We must now reach a place that truly will exist but, it will be a painful voyage for all of us.

 

What a smile he would always have.

Look at that tan. What a fun time we had in Cancun. It was the best trip ever for all of us. The fun you shared with us will never be replaced with anything ever again. I loved how you smiled when I took your picture. Your eyes were the opening to your soul. Thank you for caring and loving us all. "They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but an entire life to forget them" Miss you baby..............

 

What fun that day was.

You were so cute that day. Cozumel was fun and beautiful. The fish and corals we saw when we snorkeled toegether is so memorable and thank you for sharing it all with me.

 

Final week in St. Louis

This was the last week before you moved away. I only wish you would have stopped the move. You knew it was a mistake, and what a tragedy it turned out to be. None of us will ever be the same without you here with us. We love you, Tony.

 

Walking on the beach with Andrea

You and Andrea had such fun walking to the beach. Your  favorite thing.............the ocean.

 

Angel Flying Too Close To The Ground by Willie Nelson

If you had not have fallen
Then I would not have found you
Angel flying too close to the ground
And I patched up your broken wing
And hung around a while
Tried to keep your spirits up
And your fever down
I knew someday that you would fly away
For love's the greatest healer to be found
So leave me if you need to
I will still remember
Angel flying too close to the ground
Fly on, fly on past the speed of sound
I'd rather see you up
Than see you down
Leave me if you need to
I will still remember
Angel flying too close to the ground

 

 

He was sad to say good bye and move to Ct.

You did not want to smile because you said there was nothing to smile about. That is how I feel now. I am so sorry.

 

You and I share the love for flowers

These words were said by a Rev Warren Stevens at the funeral of a young man who took his own life. "This child died on his own battlefield. He was killed in action fighting a civil war. He fought against adversaries that were as real to him as his casket is real to us. They were powerful adversaries. They took toll of his energies and endurance. They exhausted the last vestiges of his courage and strength. At last these adversaries overwhelmed him. And it appeared that he lost the war. But did he? I see a host of victories that he has won! For one thing -- he has won our admiration -- because even if he lost the war, we give him credit for his bravery on the battlefield. And we give him credit for the courage and pride and hope that he used as his weapons as long as he could. We shall remember not his death, but his daily victories gained through his kindnesses and thoughtfulness, through his love for family and friends, for animals and books and music, for all things beautiful, lovely and honorable. We shall remember the many days that he was victorious over overwhelming odds. We shall remember not the years we thought he had left, but the intensity with which he lived the years he had! Only God knows what this child of His suffered in the silent skirmishes that took place in his soul. But our consolation is that God does know and understands!" Paulette Walker Montgomery,Al. Myspace page for suicide awareness~ http://myspace.com/thereisachoice

 

Most beautiful place. Perfect for him.

Ferncliff in New York where you will lie in peace for eternity. Six months since we last heard your voice and your great laugh. You are missed so much. There is not a day goes by that we do not think of you many, many times. We miss you.

 

Your final resting place is beautiful. I hope HEAVEN is as beautiful as they say it is and you are finally at peace. I am sorry so many let you down. The sadness and anger I feel will soften someday but you deserved so much more from many people. You have to know my heart is breaking.

 

About Suicide Suicide is a major public health problem. In 2002¹ 31,655 people died by suicide in the United States. Suicide was the 11th leading cause of death in the United States. In the U.S., more people die by suicide each year than die because of HIV or homicide. 11 out of every 100,000 Americans died by suicide. There are gender, ethnic, and age differences in suicide² Males are four times as likely to die by suicide than as females - although females attempt suicide three times as often as males. White Americans are more likely to die by suicide than Americans of other racial backgrounds. Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death among Americans between the ages of 15-24 and the second leading cause of death among those between the ages of 25-34. Suicide rates increase with age. Elderly people who die by suicide are often divorced or widowed and suffering from a physical illness. There is a strong association between suicide and mental illness. Ninety percent of suicides that take place in the United States are associated with mental illness, including disorders involving the abuse of alcohol and other drugs³. Fifty percent of those who die by suicide were afflicted with major depression, and the suicide rate of people with major depression is eight times that of the general population4. Suicide is a preventable public health problem5 http://www.sprc.org/suicide_prev_basics/about_suicide.asp

 

Our fun place we use to go. It was the best of times.

 

Remember the zeppoles I had all over me?

The first time I ever ate zeppoles with you was a hoot. Andrea made fun of me because I had powdered sugar everywhere. The festival we went to was great and we had the best time.

 

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away"

 

 

Missing You!

Missing you terribly!

 

In your honor

This butterfly was drawn on a beach in Australia in your honor.  Miss you so much.  I know you are on the wings of a butterfly. I also have a butterfly paver in your honor at The Butterfly House. Thanks for all of the memberships you gave me. They were always so special as you were and still are. 

 

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